2 December 2024
Like most people, you probably live a high intensity and high pressure life. It’s easy to see how you can become overwhelmed. Without even realising, you’re most likely rushing all the time. It’s common to live your life feeling there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it in. The more you get done, the more the to-do list seems to grow.
At this time of year, you’re starting to experience Wintry weather, less daylight, and the prospect of Christmas. All of this on top of an already full load, can ramp up feelings of overwhelm. The pressures of life tend to build up at this time of year. You may even notice that you’re depleted by what feels like the constant demands on you. It maybe you’re also finding it hard to find the time to do the things that help you to feel better such as exercising and eating well.
Maybe you’ve ended up feeling like a hamster constantly running round and round a wheel. It’s as if you’re putting all your energy into keeping up. The faster you run, the faster the wheel goes and you find yourself trying to do more and more just to stay still.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be hard to think straight. The mind become scattered and life feels out of control. It’s easy to become irritated when you get interrupted. You may find it difficult to concentrate and to complete even simple tasks.
As thinking slows down, you become less effective at whatever you’re doing, leaving you even more overwhelmed. Some people end up withdrawing from family and friends in an effort to cope.
Overwhelm goes hand in hand with worry. Your mind’s constantly thinking about how you can get through everything you have to do. You may feel responsible for taking care of others at home or work.
You may begin to feel anxious about how you’re performing at work, and worry about losing your job.
Overwhelm affects the body’s nervous, immune and hormonal systems. As the body tries to cope with overload, it releases cortisol, the stress hormone. At the same time, serotonin, which protects from depression and anxiety, falls. Both of these can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, fatigued and even in despair.
Overwhelm can also make it difficult to take care of yourself. You may forget meals, avoid taking breaks and find it difficult to sleep. This makes it difficult to think clearly and makes it even harder to cope with overwhelm.
If you are stuck in overwhelm, it may be hard to see a way out, but it is possible to get help.
It’s possible to overcome overwhelm. When I work with clients who struggle with overwhelm, we work together to change the patterns that are keeping them stuck. We always work at your pace. I take time to support you to develop the skills you need to make changes. Together, we find ways to manage your thoughts and feelings so you can do the things you care about. I aim to help you to become confident in your own ability to take action and to do the things that matter to you.
My client Phil (not his real name), is a 44 year old teacher and married dad of two. He contacted me because he was feeling overwhelmed with work. It had been seeping into all areas of his life and he was consumed by worry. Phil believed he had to work long hours and take work home or he wouldn’t be a good teacher. He felt under pressure to complete his work to an exceptionally high standard he had set himself. His standards were so high, he struggled to meet them.
Phil was spending hours and hours working and would still worry he couldn’t cope and that he would lose his job. This would spiral into more worry and overwhelm as he imagined what would happen to his family if this did ever happen.
Overwhelm was affecting Phil at home too. When he was with his family, he was thinking he should be working or worrying about what would happen at work. He constantly felt tense and anxious. He would get frustrated and angry at the smallest things. His family noticed he was snapping at them and it was creating tension at home. By the end of the day, he felt guilty and blamed himself for not being able to cope.
Each day was becoming a real struggle for Phil. He was withdrawing more and more from life, avoiding colleagues at work and spending a lot of time alone at home. He felt as if he was failing in all areas of his life. Phil’s sleep was also suffering as he would lie in bed reliving the day in his head or worrying about the next day. As a result of not sleeping, he found it harder to cope and felt more overwhelmed.
We worked together to untangle what was behind the demands Phil made on himself. He began to recognise when he was becoming overwhelmed and what he could do to help himself. We worked to help him to manage the thoughts, emotions and feelings in his body that caused overwhelm. With my support, he learnt how to manage his feelings of anxiety and worries about failing.
He came to realise that finances were a real trigger for him. He worried about money and would repeatedly check his bank account. Before long his overwhelm would spiral out of control. He learned to understand these as his early warning symptoms. As soon as he noticed them, he would put strategies into action.
We looked at what was important to Phil – as a parent, husband and teacher. Phil realised what he was doing was stopping him from being the person he wanted to be in his life.
Phil also learned to communicate more with his family about how he was feeling. As he opened up to his wife, he felt that he no longer had to carry the load alone.
As we worked in together, Phil began to feel more self assured. He was able to focus more easily and work more effectively. He began to sleep better and felt much more able to cope. We found ways for Phil to manage overworking and overwhelm. He was then able to create a better work life balance and focus on what’s important to him.
In Phils’s words
I have had a great experience with Celia, her different techniques alongside the hypnotherapy were all very useful and I have used them all to cope with anxiety and stressful situations.
Celia has a calm, understanding manner and I enjoyed each session, getting a lot out of each one. The recordings that she sends after each session allows you to listen again and use them as many times as you need. There was also a lot of information she sends so you can understand the feelings and processes to deal with them.Celia exceeded my expectations and has helped me implement fundamental changes to my outlook that have been very beneficial to me. I would thoroughly recommend working with Celia if you have the opportunity.
If this sounds like you, you too are capable of change.
When I work with clients who are overwhelmed, we work together to understand what’s causing their problem. Together, we find better ways to manage difficult emotions and to focus on the important things in life . Every step of the way, we work to make changes at a pace that is right for them and in a safe and supported way.
Try my five ways to escape overwhelm to get you started.
You can learn to set boundaries in different ways. It may be you want to introduce time limits on the amount of time you spend on each task. Or, you may wish to limit the amount of tasks you take on. You could decide to finish work by a certain time each day and stick to it. Or you may decide to can say no to requests that will take up too much of your time. Setting boundaries also means tackling perfectionism and accepting that good enough is enough.
One of the causes of overwhelm is worrying about things we can’t control. Somehow, we believe that worrying or considering all the things that can possibly go wrong, will help us solve problems or protect us in some way. Constant worrying sets off warnings in our head that induce panic.
Instead, try to allow yourself to stay in the present moment and deal with what is happening right now. Let go of thinking about what possibly may or may not happen. Try to allow yourself to release unhelpful thoughts or feelings as much as possible. Instead focus on the reality of a situation without letting your mind wander to all the possible scenarios and outcomes. For more, check out https://www.blossomhypnotherapy.com/creating-calm-uncertain-world/
Walking can make it harder for your mind and body to be as overwhelmed. When you walk, you take in lots of new information. You see things, you feel things, and you smell things with each step that you take. Walking moves blood around your body and helps regulate your breathing and heart rate.
When you are overwhelmed, its important to focus on your health. We need to be healthy to meet life’s challenges. Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of sleep are the basic building blocks of resilience. Take time out to do things that feel good to you, you enjoy and find rewarding. The more overwhelmed you feel, the more important it is to be taking care of yourself. This will help to calm your nervous system, reduce the fight or flight response and help you handle things more easily. For more, see https://www.blossomhypnotherapy.com/fight-flight-understanding-body-responds-stress/
When people become overwhelmed, their breathing changes and they begin to gulp air, and may feel as if they are going to suffocate. Or, they start to breathe really quickly and feel dizzy, making them feel worse. Learning to recognise this and slowing down your breathing as soon as it happens can help reduce anxiety.
When you consciously breathe in deep, it triggers your body’s relaxation response and can come in handy during particularly stressful moments.
Check out How to Relax in Just Five Minutes a Day for a quick and simple breathing exercise to help you.
For more information on managing overwhelm see the Royal College of Psychiatrist’s factsheet.
Would you like to make living life easier, right now? Get your free Live Life on Your Terms recording here and begin to live your life with confidence.
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